[Scene: A stylish interview set. Sarah Paulson is seated across from the interviewer, holding a tiny bell to ring after each answer. The tone is playful and fast.]
Interviewer:
Okay, Sarah — you ready for the speed round?
Sarah (grinning):
I was born ready. Also born dramatic.
Interviewer:
First celebrity crush?
Sarah:
David Bowie in Labyrinth. I was confused and intrigued.
[Ding.]
Interviewer:
Last thing you Googled?
Sarah:
“Can cats get seasonal depression?” For… a friend.
[Ding.]
Interviewer:
Guilty pleasure?
Sarah:
Watching horror movies alone and then texting Holland to come check the closet.
[Ding.]
Interviewer:
What’s always in your bag?
Sarah:
Three lip balms I don’t use and a snack I forgot was there.
[Ding.]
Interviewer:
If you weren’t an actor?
Sarah:
Professional overthinker. Or like… a crime podcast host.
[Ding.]
Interviewer:
Describe yourself in three words.
Sarah:
Anxious. Loud. Loyal.
[Ding-ding-ding.]
Interviewer:
You just rang three times.
Sarah:
I’m dramatic. I need a closing moment.
