[Scene: A breathtaking mountain peak at sunrise. The wind is blowing, the sky is golden, and there — standing at the edge in hiking boots and a puffer jacket — is Sandra Bullock.]
Sandra (arms wide, dramatically):
🎶 “THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIVE… WITH THE SOUND OF—me being off-key!” 🎶
[She twirls once, almost loses her balance, laughs loudly, then keeps dancing with zero rhythm but full commitment.]
Sandra:
You know what they don’t tell you? Echoes make your bad singing sound worse.
[She raises her “microphone” — a granola bar — and continues performing like she’s headlining Coachella.]
Sandra:
This is what happens when you hike for 3 hours and forget you’re afraid of heights… and public embarrassment.
[Camera zooms out: just her, the mountains, and endless dramatic gestures to absolutely no one.]
Sandra (shouting to the valley below):
I’M A STAR AND THESE MOUNTAINS ARE MY STAGE!
