[Scene: A stylish interview set with velvet chairs and coffee mugs. Cate Blanchett sits like royalty. Sandra Bullock is perched on the edge of her seat, already mid-joke. Sarah Paulson is half-laughing, half-panicking.]
Interviewer:
Okay, first question: Who’s the biggest troublemaker on set?
Sandra:
(Shooting her hand up) ME. And I’m proud of it.
Sarah (pointing at Cate):
No, it’s her. She starts it with one look, and suddenly we’re all in detention.
Cate (innocently sipping tea):
I have no memory of that. I was meditating.
[They all burst into laughter. The interviewer can’t get a word in.]
Interviewer:
Okay, if you three had a group chat, what would it be called?
Cate:
“Witches of Chaos.”
Sandra:
No—“Blonde, Brunette, and Breakdown.”
Sarah:
That’s… terrifyingly accurate.
[Cut to a moment where they try to take a group selfie mid-interview. Cate keeps blinking. Sarah is yelling “Just one where we all look NORMAL!” Sandra drops the phone. Everyone’s cackling.]
Cate (laughing):
This isn’t an interview. It’s a meltdown in high definition.
