Charlie: Hey Alan, if being annoying was an Olympic sport, you’d have more gold than Michael Phelps.
Alan: That’s rich coming from the guy who’s been unemployed longer than you’ve been alive.
Jake: Can I get a medal for eating cereal in my pajamas all day? Because I’m a champion.
Charlie: Jake, that’s called being lazy. And yes, you’d definitely win gold.
Alan: I just want one day where I’m not the family joke. Is that too much to ask?
Charlie: Alan, you’re the family joke, the punchline, and the commercial break all rolled into one.
Jake: So… family legend?
