[INT. CHARLIE’S BEACH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – MORNING]
Charlie walks downstairs in silk boxers and sunglasses. He shivers and pulls his robe tighter.
CHARLIE:
Why does it feel like Elsa from Frozen exploded in here?
Alan walks in bundled up in three layers and a scarf.
ALAN:
Oh thank God. I thought it was just me. I turned the thermostat up to 74.
CHARLIE:
Seventy-four?! This is Malibu, not a ski lodge in Siberia. I set it to 68 last night.
ALAN:
Well, I set it back. I have poor circulation!
CHARLIE:
So do dead people. You don’t hear them complaining.
Jake enters in shorts and a T-shirt, eating ice cream.
JAKE:
Why are you guys yelling about the air? It’s perfect in here.
CHARLIE:
You’re eating ice cream in December, Jake. Your opinion doesn’t count.
[INT. KITCHEN – LATER]
Charlie sneaks over to the thermostat and turns it back down. A second later, Alan appears from behind the fridge like a thermostat ninja.
ALAN:
Aha! I knew it!
CHARLIE:
You were hiding behind the fridge?
ALAN:
You can’t ambush comfort, Charlie. This is about warmth… and boundaries!
CHARLIE:
Fine. You want boundaries? You can sleep outside with the raccoons tonight.
Jake walks in and presses a random button.
JAKE:
What does this one do?
[The thermostat sparks and goes completely black.]
ALAN:
Jake!
JAKE:
Oops.
CHARLIE:
Great. Now we’re all gonna freeze… or worse, talk to each other.
TAG SCENE – [LIVING ROOM – NIGHT]
All three are huddled under one big blanket, watching TV. A portable heater buzzes in the background.
ALAN:
You know, this is kind of nice.
CHARLIE:
If you say “family bonding,” I’m throwing you out the window.
JAKE:
Can we at least order pizza?
CHARLIE:
Only if it comes with central heating.
