[INT. HOTEL ROOM – EVENING]
Charlie and Alan are unpacking in a surprisingly small hotel room. Jake lounges on one of the beds, playing a handheld video game.
CHARLIE:
Well, this room’s smaller than my last relationship.
ALAN:
That’s not saying much. But seriously, why did you pick the cheapest hotel in town?
CHARLIE:
Because I’m a man of simple tastes—and apparently, simple budgets.
Jake pauses his game and looks around.
JAKE:
Do you guys think they’ll bring us room service? Like, can I order a pizza to this tiny box?
CHARLIE:
You’re looking at the king of room service. Watch and learn.
Charlie picks up the phone and dials.
[CUT TO: LATER THAT NIGHT]
The doorbell rings. Charlie opens the door to a room service waiter carrying a tray with an extravagant feast. Alan’s eyes widen.
ALAN:
Wow, this looks amazing. How did you afford this?
CHARLIE:
Let’s just say I have my ways. (winks)
Jake dives into the food immediately.
JAKE:
This is better than Mom’s cooking!
ALAN:
I wouldn’t go that far.
[INT. HOTEL ROOM – LATER]
Charlie is on the bed, talking on the phone, smirking. Alan is nervously pacing.
ALAN:
Charlie, did you tell the hotel you’re a celebrity? Because I think they just upgraded us to the presidential suite.
CHARLIE:
I may have mentioned it. (grinning) Besides, it’s not like they’d believe I’m just a guy who lives off his brother’s couch.
Jake falls asleep with a slice of pizza hanging out of his hand.
TAG SCENE – MORNING
Alan wakes up to find Charlie and Jake still asleep, surrounded by empty takeout boxes.
ALAN:
Well, at least we didn’t have to clean the hotel room.
Charlie mumbles from the bed.
CHARLIE:
Yeah, the real luxury.
