[INT. CHARLIE’S BEACH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – MORNING]
Charlie is lying on the couch in his robe, flipping through a magazine. Alan enters carrying a huge basket of laundry.
ALAN:
Charlie! I can’t take it anymore. This place looks like a tornado hit it. We need to clean. Like, now.
CHARLIE:
Clean? Alan, this is called “lived-in charm.” And by lived-in, I mean I haven’t done laundry in three weeks.
ALAN:
It’s disgusting. Jake’s got socks everywhere. The kitchen sink is full of dishes. And don’t get me started on Berta’s mysterious “cleaning fees.”
CHARLIE:
Berta’s cleaning fees are like a subscription you didn’t ask for but can’t cancel.
[INT. KITCHEN – LATER]
Alan is scrubbing the sink; Charlie is trying to organize the fridge but just ends up making more mess. Jake walks in with a sandwich.
JAKE:
Why are you guys working so hard? Isn’t it a Sunday? Isn’t there a football game? Why ruin a good thing?
ALAN:
Because, Jake, someday you’ll appreciate living in a clean house. Maybe.
CHARLIE:
And if you don’t, just remember: there’s always fast food delivery.
[INT. LIVING ROOM – EVENING]
The house looks somewhat cleaner, but Alan is exhausted. Charlie is relaxing again. Jake is playing video games.
ALAN:
Finally done. I think we earned a break.
CHARLIE:
Yeah, until Berta comes in and finds the one thing we missed and charges us double.
JAKE:
Do you guys think she’ll clean my room if I pay her in candy?
TAG SCENE – [CHARLIE’S PORCH – NIGHT]
Charlie and Alan sit with beers.
CHARLIE:
You know, for once, I kinda like the house clean.
ALAN:
I knew you would. Now let’s just try to keep it that way for… a day?
CHARLIE:
Let’s not get crazy.
