[INT. CHARLIE’S BEACH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY]
Charlie is sipping whiskey at noon. Jake is on the couch playing video games. Alan walks in, dressed suspiciously cool — new jeans, button-down shirt, and way too much cologne.
CHARLIE:
Whoa. Did Banana Republic throw up on you?
ALAN:
Very funny. I have a date. With a woman I met online.
CHARLIE:
Let me guess — her profile says she’s “into hiking, dogs, and emotionally stable men,” and you lied about two of those.
JAKE:
You’re emotionally stable?
ALAN:
Yes! I mean… mostly!
CHARLIE:
Alan, the last time you cried was because a bird flew away before you could take a selfie with it.
ALAN:
I was in the moment!
JAKE:
You were in tears. Big difference.
ALAN:
You know what? Mock all you want. Her name is Vanessa, she’s a nurse, and we have amazing chemistry.
CHARLIE:
Amazing chemistry, huh? So when’s the science experiment blowing up?
JAKE:
I give it three hours. Two if she has decent Wi-Fi and Googles you.
ALAN:
For your information, I’m meeting her here, and I would appreciate it if you two didn’t ruin this for me.
CHARLIE:
No promises. This is our house. If she can’t handle us at our worst… well, that’s basically 24/7.
Doorbell rings. Alan straightens his shirt and opens the door. Vanessa enters — she’s beautiful, confident, and holding a phone.
VANESSA:
Hi, Alan… quick question. Why does your ex-wife’s Yelp review of you say “Do not recommend — emotionally allergic and cries during thunderstorms”?
CHARLIE:
(lifting his drink)
Told you it would blow up.
